THE ZOMBIE METAPHOR

Reading an interview with Simon Pegg, the writer of 'SPACED' and set to star in the awesome looking 'Shaun of the Dead' he mentioned how zombies are a great metaphor for anything relentlessly annoying in life. Those weren't his exact words you understand, he said that they represented the plodding responsibilities of life after 30. But they could also represent, conformity, corporations, etc. Or, as social anthropologists will tell, you, mankind's fear of cannibalism allowed to run free.

But this got me thinking (something I do FAR too much of) and wondered, what a question such as:

"What do zombies mean to you?"

Would tell me about my friends and family. I plan to see 'Dawn of the Dead' tonight and I hope it is the gore filled splatterfest I hope it to be. But I don't intend to ask people afterwards the deeper meaning fo the film. There probably isn't one, and yet we find zombies so fascinating.

This is of course utter tosh. If I saw a horde of zombies running...sorry, shambling down the street towards me all that would run through my head would be fear for my life and maybe with a casual reference to fears of my own death. I might try to run home, probably have to fend off a few of the gruesome cadavers before I got to my front door, where I would probably break down my mate's door and unsheath his katana (not a metaphor!). I'd probably start to phone people then, and realise the wires had been cut...
"How can they cut the wires, they're animals!"
(Finally got a Bill Paxton quote into this stupid blog!)

Priorities change. So, if zombies were a metaphor for me, they'd probably be a reminder (a visual one as well) of my own mortality and to remember what's really important. Man, I am soooo pretentious.

"Game over man! Game over!"

Peat.

Over the last weekend I've been trying to take the next step on the eightfold path. That of 'right speech'. To truely think before you speak is difficult, mostly people just speak and listen vaguely, waiting for their turn to speak. I'm not having a go at anyone, I do it as well, I did it this weekend, several times. It is not always in a selfish manner either, one can be so excited to see someone you want to tell them everything at once, as do they.

When I was showing my parents my photos of my study trip to Egypt I became acutely aware of this once again. How interested were they in this? Was I telling the story in a way in which they found interesting or relevant? My parents have both been to Egypt so I found the way to engage them was to note the differences between the trip I took with them and the trip I took with my university.

But such observances can be applied to real life, in conversation I find it often much better to just listen. I have had long conversation in which I have only asked questions for example and listened to the answers. I felt I learnt more about my friends and family by fogetting what I wanted to say or add to the conversation and listened to what they had to say.

But right speech can be expressed in all sorts of ways. Always saying thank you. Always asking people how they are, even if they don't ask you back. Always speaking the truth (far more complex than it sounds).

Take care,

Peat.

"You can't quit now, when we're so close to the end!"
Professor Henry Jones (Snr)

Just had my last lecture for my second year of university. I'd say it's flown by but everyone I know seems to be saying that these days. It has of course, gone quickly, these things have a habit of doing that but it has been eventful in its passing. I have met even more people and made even more friends since this time last year I have done so much and I wouldn't change any of it.

As Buddha said:
"All things arise and fade away". I interpret this as 'things change'. Things fading away seems too depressing really. I'd like to think things don't 'end' as such they just change. But one of the central teachings whichi is hard to follow is to see everything in the world as impermanent. Everything that is built eventually falls down, all those who are gathered together eventually part. It is the way of things. But in some cases relationships just change into something different.

Stephen (of grasshopper lies heavy fame) for example is moving to Liverpool to do his Phd. Our friendship isn't going to end, it's going to change. Of course some friendships do end, when one moves away, people slip out of contact but the ones you hold on to, they must be true friends indeed.

Take care,

Peat.

A CALL TO ADVENTURE?

My blogging cohort, Stephen (in an impressive bid to tear the 'adventurer' mantle from my head) has asked people to challenge him with things to do for the next six months. Check out:

www.grasshopperliesheavy.blogspot.com

For his list of challenges and the first one (complete or not? You decide!). As Stephen is a lovely chap, and I would dearly like for him to succeed (no sarcasm I assure you) I'm willing to offer myself as a 'heroic companion'; Dr Watson to his Holmes, Passeportout to his Phineas Fogg, Sam to his Frodo (or maybe Gollum if I'm in a bad mood). Not only does this mean that Beastie (who writes 'We eat a Nut and an Insect') who challenged him get assurances that I can verify Stephen's activities (I always tell the truth remember) but I also get to have enormous fun and more importantly...an adventure!

Of course Stephen could always refuse...Some roads a man has to walk alone...And I'll understand of course.

The other matter on my mind is a proposed 'body swap' on friday night for an hour. In every cartoon series ever made there seems to be a 'body swapping' episode so why not in our dreary lives? Basically what this means is, at an party of friday night I have to take on the personality traits of a (one hates to use the word) arrogant, northern, womanising friend of mine (or to quote him; become a 'genuine hero') while he has to take on my personality, ethics, truth, caring about your fellow man, etc. This of course has the potential to ruin our lives which is why it is only happening for an hour. I'm seriously considering getting a trustworthy mate to lock me in a room by myself for the hour so I don't say or do anything I'll regret (being geeks we would have to be as authentic as possible). Not only that, but some of my more evil mates intend to throw events in which my friend wouldn't be able to refuse (and therefore I shouldn't either) I think involving absinthe. I get more worried as friday approaches...

Still, it should be interesting, if nothing else!

Take care,

Peat.

THE BACKSTORY RESUMES...
Due to popular demand (well, one person actually) I have decided to resume where I left off my posts so long ago with the story of my life. Unfortunatley when I have written about the past before now the post has turned into a rant. The other complaint I get is that I am not specific or explicit enough; the post refer to vague events and people to which my other friends have no understanding or recollection whatsoever.

Also, I'm afraid that my blog is simply recounting my descent into madness, each post seems to be crazier than the last and my friends can only watch in horror as my sanity finally slips away.

I'm reminded of a Red Dwarf quote:
"Underneath all that neurotic mess is someone nice, trying to get out."

But if I am to continue this blog in the same 'uncompromisingly truthfull account of my thoughts and feelings' of course it's going to look pretty bad. Things get worse before they get better when it comes to the soul. I think I need to calm down and not worry so much. Of course the simple answer is that I'm stressed about the work I have to get done. I We all go a little crazy when it comes to deadlines I think. I know I do. Stress and me don't get on.

Take care,

Peat.

What I have learnt today is that while it is not possible to end all the suffering in the world, or to take everyone's sins upon myself I can at least be there for everyone when they need me. That is really all a person can do I suppose. If 'no man is an island' then everyone can (sing along if you want):

#Lean on me, when you're not strong
I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on, for,
It won't be long, till I'm gonna need,
Somebody to lean on#

Sorry, have visons of people holding lighters in the air and slowly swaying to me on a stage with a Michael Bolton haircut. GAHHH!!!

Take care,

Peat

BACK TO REALITY
Coming back to work after an awesome weekend always puts me on a downer. Then people accusing you of having a messiah complex doesn't help. I'm not denying there is some truth to it, I accept blame that isn't mine sometimes, I try to be as loving and kind as I can (or do I just SAY that I do?), when trying to change me viewpoint to one of cause and effect (karma) I see all my actions as having long lasting consquences. I have an effect on the lives around me.

As seems to be the theme of this blog, I tread a fine line between cultivating my innate buddha-nature and becoming a self-centred person with a messiah complex.

Looking at my viewpoint the most obvious solution comes from the Lo-jong discipline (lo meaning mind and jong meaning train/form/soften) and that is this:

'Put responisibilty where it belongs'.

I feel I have only twice seen with diamond-like vision so far, one of them was when I told a friend who was blaming herself for things that weren't her fault and neglecting the ones that where: I said; 'Don't take responsibility for the things that aren't yours, and do for the things that are.' If only I'd take my own advice!

Clearly I am not the centre of the universe, I can control nothing except my own actions. More importantly is that I cannot control other people's reactions, no matter how good and pure my own are, they react also because of the way THEY are.

So I resolve to act with the best intentions, but I cannot put the sins of the world on my back, nor can I please everyone. What I have to do is ACCEPT everyone, or love everyone. Lama Surya das says it is possible to love even those people you do not like. I'm still working on that one!

Take care,

Peat.

Doubt as a teacher...

I haven't written for a while as I have had a lot of work to to. Or to be more accurate, I've had a lot of work I've been stressing that I SHOULD do. But I seem to have a few minutes free now to keep you updated.

As ever, monday nights seem to hold great dilema, or angst or even wonderous joy sometimes. This time I was struck by doubt. Doubt that maybe I'm not strong enough to be a Buddhist, that I don't have the strength of will to follow the eightfold path. That I could just give up and live out my rollercoaster of emotions reasonably content. As I sobered up and eventually got home (resisting the urge to go and rant at a friend about the pain of unrequited love) I sat on my roof and thought. Coming to a compromise of giving up without giving up I went to bed.

But of course, when I woke up again I was more determined than ever to follow this path. The doubt taught me that no one is forcing me to do this, no one is going to tell me off for not following this path. Buddha was 19 years old when he walked out of his palace and saw the suffering of the world. It was then when he vowed to transcend that and help everyone. With all that's happened this year so far I think I am ready. I think the obvious place to begin would be with purifying the body, no more alcohol for a start!

Take care.

Peat.

CREATIVE JUICES

I feel today like there just doesn't seem to be enough time in my life. Like the days speed by. A constant struggle of mine is how to make the days last longer. How to squeeze and suck the day (as Metallica put it) and live life to the full. 'Carpe diem' as it were. I think it's a case of being mindful, paying attention. Buddhists put it that life is happening right now, but we are often off somewhere else missing it.

The immortal lines in 'Fight Club':
"This is the greatest moment of your life and you're off somewhere missing it!"

In fact, why am I here writing this? I have go so many other things to do!

Take care,

Peat.

The praise I get sometimes is astounding. I have had brief conversations with friends about 'darkness' and 'light'. I found a friend of mine in a darkened hallway at a party recently:

Me: What are you doing in the dark?"

Friend: "It's easier in the dark."

Me: "No it's not, you just get used to it after a while. You start to feel like you belong there. But that just isn't true. I know where of I speak."

Friend: "Have you spent seven years in the dark?"

Me: (After a moment of speculation) "Yes."

It sounds much more pretentious written down then when it happened. It was all in a semi-drunk, tongue in cheek fashion then. But I stand by my opinion that the 'dark' (whatever than may mean) is cold, lonely and depressing. I felt like I belonged there, as if every time I stepped into the light I did something wrong and so slunk away again. But that just wasn't the case. Emotional paranoia and fragility told me that but the only truely negative stuff came from me. No one said anything bad about me, but myself!

Another friend told me last night that the 'light' of Buddhism is the brightest they know, they respect me highly for choosing such a path (Despite it being well known I am the worst Buddhist ever! :) ).

In summary: The light is accepting, joyful and uplifting. I could not be part of the fellowship I am now without being 'in the light'. The dark is, well, dark. Full of angst, pain and misery. But above all it's lonely. It felt like no one understood when I was in the dark. But that was because I didn't let them bring me to the light. In the light, people care, people want to help and people like you for who you really are.

There, rant over.

Take care,

Peat.