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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

FEELING BETTER

You scored as Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones is an archaeologist/adventurer with an unquenchable love for danger and excitement. He travels the globe in search of historical relics. He loves travel, excitement, and a good archaeological discovery. He hates Nazis and snakes, perhaps to the same degree. He always brings along his trusty whip and fedora. He's tough, cool, and dedicated. He relies on both brains and brawn to get him out of trouble and into it.

Indiana Jones

79%

Batman, the Dark Knight

79%

Captain Jack Sparrow

75%

Lara Croft

71%

The Amazing Spider-Man

58%

Neo, the "One"

54%

Maximus

50%

El Zorro

46%

William Wallace

46%

The Terminator

42%

James Bond, Agent 007

38%

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com


I feel a lot better than last post. I feel calmer and more humble and true to myself. Things are going to change here at the Pasty. I'm hoping lest ranting angst and more joy and calm.

May you all find joy and loving-kindness

Ram.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Angstalam
WARNING: HUGE LEVELS OF ANGST INCOMING

Why are there no rock songs about the agony of descions? Or indeciciveness? I get a lot of angst and rage from such things.

I suppose there is no where in the internet ether for me to escape from what has happened and the pasty is where I am supposed to bear my soul.

But I can never find the right words anymore.

I never seem to do the right things anymore.

Friendships seem harder than ever.

There seems to be a side of me that I didn't know I had and I don't like it.

I'm treating people worse than I've ever treated them before and I don't even know why.

I feel like I'm living out what everyone else thinks I should be. I've buried myself in other people's advice so much I barely know what I think anymore.

I don't know what I want.

I'm coming apart. The worst part is I've become so lost and confused that I'm afriad I have alienated all those I would normally turn to. My friends, I don't know what's happened to me recently.

Ram.
This could all be the stress of essays however.

Friday, February 10, 2006

You scored as Rocker, Mosher. Your A Rocker!

Rocker, Mosher

95%

Goth

70%

Emo

45%

Prepy

35%

Trendy

25%

Chav, Townie, Rude Boy, Ned, Kev

15%

Skater

10%

What Group Are You? Chav, Rocker, Skater, Emo, Goth, Trendy, Prepy E.c.t
created with QuizFarm.com


CHOICES...

Sometimes a man has to do what a man has to do. In these situations there are always three options:

1. Do option A
2. Do option B
3. Choose not to decide at this time.

I've spent some time with the third option but the hour is coming for me to make a choice.

I think I know what I'm going to do. I suspect such a bold and daring move will blow up in my face. It's time to go for broke.

But faint of heart never one fair lady. He who dares wins.

No matter what happens after this I must know that I went into it with my eyes open, crushing any doubt about the future. I will have to KNOW that I made this choice and the consequences that come with it are a result of that.

I am scared and I'll be even more scared on the day. No one said it was going to be easy but I will have chosen. I've got to go for broke. It's the only play I have left and I might kick myself for the rest of my life if I don't go for it. It's about looking yourself in the eye in the mirror.

I always backed down before, it never seemed like the right time. But as a friend said to me once, 'you have to make it the right time'. Damnit, I'm getting worked up and I mustn't.

It's just a choice I have to make and I'm making it.

As the Sandman once said:

"Sometimes we can choose the path we take,

Sometimes our path is chosen for us,

And sometimes we have no choice at all."

Ram.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

HASH(0x8c172b0)
You are the Angel of Faith


What Angel are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


THEN ONE DAY, FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON...

I've just opened a new blogging account thing, to date I have;

1)This one (that you're reading now and that bares my soul most of the time)

2)Ramrage (which I find I'm posting less on these days)

3)Shazam! My Livejournal, a more friendly blog about my daily life

4)My Hi5 account which I don't really blog on but I use it to keep in contact with people I already have contact details for. It's fun to write testamonials for people and get ones back though. At the very least it put the addresses of the other three blogs up and more people read them as a result!

5) A Myspace account which I've just opened up. The reason for doing this remains still slightly unclear to me. The most likely is that my friends are in bands which have myspace sites and I wanted to be part of the gang, also those who read this blog my stray over to

www.myspace.com/maatspace

and hear the awesome music some of my mates play. (Cool name for a site huh? Proud to say I thought of that myself :) You don't get it? It's an egyptology thing...)


If the myspace account is anything like the Hi5 account more people will know the real Ramalam, which can only be a good thing :)

Apologies to anyone who might have been offended, upset, peturbed by the last entry, I was in a strange mood. I'm over all that now and although these challenges can be unpleasant it has strengthened my resolve to understand the path I walk and Bailey and I are still best buddies :)

Plus, I'm never disappointed by moments when my faith is restored in the human race. I talked frankly to Coleen (my work collegue to apologise for my wierd behaviour) but she was totally cool about it. Last weekend I saw Sian (an old 6th form friend whom I thought didn't like me) but she gave me a big smile and we had a cool chat. It was good to see her.

Failed to do enough work today, but it wasn't totally my fault as my Boss asked me to stay on as people didn't turn up for their shifts, as a result I haven't read anything today for my essays. Not good. But I'll survive, I always do.

Ram.