From 'The Mind is an ancient and famous capital'

"The mind is a city like London,
Smoky and populous: it is a capital
Like Rome, ruined and eternal,
Marked by the monuments which no one
Now remembers. For the mind, like Rome, contains,
Catacombs, aqueducts, amphitheatres, palaces,
Churches and equestrian statues, fallen, broken or soiled.
The mind possesses and is possessed by all the ruins
Of every hanted, hunted generation's celebration..."

Delmore Schwartz (1913-66)

My love and hate relationship with London continues. Currently I am afraid of my new prospect of being an intern at the National Maritime Museum. This will no doubt be awesome but I'm a little aprehensive as it comes right after the moot.

But I will be working in an area of London steeped in history which is what I have wanted for some time now. I don't want to jinx things but I am hoping this will be the stepping stone to something bigger and onwards.

A while ago people placed their faith in me to 'make it' and I don't want to let them down. Even though I don't know what 'making it' means...

#If I could see all my friends tonight#

There was a time when I embarked on a plan to write a note to each and every person I knew about how they felt to me. I would write advice, thoughts, dreams and exactly how much they meant to me.

They would be handed out at my funeral.

But then I realised that instead of keeping such secrets it would be better to TELL all those people how much they meant to me. I opened my heart and my actions and feelings came closer together. I could only be honest with them and myself.

Now I am embarking on a renewal of that sentiment. I must see all those I care about again and renew the bonds that made us friends in the first place. Perhaps that is one of the aspects that makes my life up, a constant renewal of the true friendships that made (and make) me who I am. as I said around my birthday two years ago, I would not fall apart if these people were not in my life, but I truely LIVE having known them.

Ram.