TALES FROM THE GEEKOSPHERE 3:
From notalwaysright.com
(A couple walk in, the lady in front, the man trailing tiredly behind. The lady spins around the store.)
Me: “Can I help you with anything today?”
Lady: “I need these pants in size 0, pronto.”
Me: “Who are you getting them for?”
Lady: “MYSELF! What do you think!”
(I get her what she wants, she takes them and goes into a change room.)
Lady: “HEY, these are defective! Get me another pair!”
Me: “May I suggest a bigger size?”
Lady: “Are you saying I look fat? That I can’t fit into these pants?! I’ll have you know, I always wear size 0… these pants must be made wrong! Now get me another pair!”
Man: “Honey, those are really small pants, just try a slightly bigger one.”
(Without a pause, she turns around and slaps the man.)
Lady: “Why can’t you just be on my side! That was so rude! You’re sleeping on the couch tonight!”
Man: “We don’t live together.”
Lady: “What do you mean! We moved in last week… remember?”
Man: “No… we don’t live together.”
(The lady realizes he’s not caving. She flicks a look at me, then tries a different route.)
Lady: “Well, I mean, you’re still sleeping on the couch in your own apartment! To show remorse for disrespecting me. Or else!”
Man: “Or else what?”
Lady: “Or else I’m dumping your a**!”
Man: “… Okay.”
Lady: “You just–you just like HER, don’t–” *walks out fast, sobbing*
(The man stayed behind and apologized to me. My shift was ending so we went for dinner, and long story short he’s now my fiance! Couldn’t ask for a better man, and I’ve got to thank that lady someday for making it all possible…)
KARMA is like the most complex series of interlinking chains bound by many locks. We never know what doors they may open, so we must always choose the ones guided by kindness.
PJCarrington's occassional adventures and quests for enlightenment, fellowship and function. Filmed before a live studio audience; all of you.
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Thursday, March 26, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
GEEKOSPHERE SIGNPOST:
Graham Linehan's blog
I found this, expecting to find a similar brand of hilarious ranting that I read on Charlie Brooker's column for the Guardian.
Instead I found a signpost to an article in the Scottish Sunday Express concerning the survivors of the Dunblane massacre. But don't read my summary, read the story yourself. Go and do it now, otherwise the following will not make sense.
What Linehan mentions at the end is the balance between a free press and the censorship of it. This is a thorny issue, but in the scandal around the above story one has to deal with it.
The liberal side of me cries out that this kind of journalistic mistake is an isolated incident and the tragic price we pay for our freedom of speech. The resulting campaign for an apology is my expected reaction and I am glad it happened. I would imagine that in the future when journalists forget that they are meant to inform the public rather than conjur scandal from some celebrity candy ether a similar uproar will occur. We cannot drift down the river of increased censorship lest we come to the shores of STATE CENSORSHIP (something my other blog has ranted about recently).
The side of me that dips his toe on the right thinks that perhaps we should empower our ombudsmen and regulatory bodies to prevent this kind of intrusive journalism. Actually, come to think of it, the strong ombudsmen (Ofcom, Enerygywatch, Trading Standards etc) seem only to help people so perhaps this is not a bad idea.
But what strikes me as the secondary injustice in all of this is the way SSE has turned their apology into both advertising for their Brand and weaseled our of blame and responsibility. But, many many people signed the petition and many people will not purchase the paper again.
Anyway, I drew attention to it here because Graham Linehan (who is a man I respect) said that this is an issue that journalists should cover and this being one of the few places I am published I felt it best to mention it.
R.
Graham Linehan's blog
I found this, expecting to find a similar brand of hilarious ranting that I read on Charlie Brooker's column for the Guardian.
Instead I found a signpost to an article in the Scottish Sunday Express concerning the survivors of the Dunblane massacre. But don't read my summary, read the story yourself. Go and do it now, otherwise the following will not make sense.
What Linehan mentions at the end is the balance between a free press and the censorship of it. This is a thorny issue, but in the scandal around the above story one has to deal with it.
The liberal side of me cries out that this kind of journalistic mistake is an isolated incident and the tragic price we pay for our freedom of speech. The resulting campaign for an apology is my expected reaction and I am glad it happened. I would imagine that in the future when journalists forget that they are meant to inform the public rather than conjur scandal from some celebrity candy ether a similar uproar will occur. We cannot drift down the river of increased censorship lest we come to the shores of STATE CENSORSHIP (something my other blog has ranted about recently).
The side of me that dips his toe on the right thinks that perhaps we should empower our ombudsmen and regulatory bodies to prevent this kind of intrusive journalism. Actually, come to think of it, the strong ombudsmen (Ofcom, Enerygywatch, Trading Standards etc) seem only to help people so perhaps this is not a bad idea.
But what strikes me as the secondary injustice in all of this is the way SSE has turned their apology into both advertising for their Brand and weaseled our of blame and responsibility. But, many many people signed the petition and many people will not purchase the paper again.
Anyway, I drew attention to it here because Graham Linehan (who is a man I respect) said that this is an issue that journalists should cover and this being one of the few places I am published I felt it best to mention it.
R.
Friday, March 20, 2009
TALES FROM THE GEEKOSPHERE 2:
Teh internetz sure is a funny place:
My new favourite webcomix:
MS Paint Adventures!
Like playing a text based adventure that causes knives of illogic to stab your funny bones.
Hark! A Vagrant!
Ridiculous, mainly historical humour with that dash of surrealism I love so much.
Then the most amusing,Not always right
which is like a FAILBlog of stories.
As for my life? I am in a very silly mood because of the above, which is good because I am anticipating a fun-filled weekend. Seeing WATCHMEN tonight, working on RPGs tommorrow and LARPing on sunday. Also it is Mother's day so I shall be honouring my Mum as best I can.
Onward, brave yet post-modern soldiers!
R.
Teh internetz sure is a funny place:
My new favourite webcomix:
MS Paint Adventures!
Like playing a text based adventure that causes knives of illogic to stab your funny bones.
Hark! A Vagrant!
Ridiculous, mainly historical humour with that dash of surrealism I love so much.
Then the most amusing,Not always right
which is like a FAILBlog of stories.
As for my life? I am in a very silly mood because of the above, which is good because I am anticipating a fun-filled weekend. Seeing WATCHMEN tonight, working on RPGs tommorrow and LARPing on sunday. Also it is Mother's day so I shall be honouring my Mum as best I can.
Onward, brave yet post-modern soldiers!
R.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
TALES FROM THE GEEKOSPHERE:
Overheard in Forbidden Planet Shaftesbury Avenue:
"So I said to my little cousin, If you want to play outside, take your brother with you but you have to look after him. You know, make sure he is safe and alright, like an adult would. So he looked up at me and asked, 'You mean, like Spider-man would?' It was then I knew and I said, 'You will go far my boy'."
Ram.
Overheard in Forbidden Planet Shaftesbury Avenue:
"So I said to my little cousin, If you want to play outside, take your brother with you but you have to look after him. You know, make sure he is safe and alright, like an adult would. So he looked up at me and asked, 'You mean, like Spider-man would?' It was then I knew and I said, 'You will go far my boy'."
Ram.
Friday, March 13, 2009
EXTRA EXTRA
I now review theatre for the online magazine, 'ExtraExtra'. The magazine is written by creative writers rather than professional reviewers. I have added the website to the sidebar.
On friday 6th I reviewed 'Austentatious' a musical comedy at the Landor Theatre.
Tonight I review 'The Flies', the Jean Paul Sartre play re-imagined with indie music. Should be interesting, be sure to read my review online.
I feel like doing something silly afterward, like leaping on a train to Bristol and seeing my friends over there.
Ram.
I now review theatre for the online magazine, 'ExtraExtra'. The magazine is written by creative writers rather than professional reviewers. I have added the website to the sidebar.
On friday 6th I reviewed 'Austentatious' a musical comedy at the Landor Theatre.
Tonight I review 'The Flies', the Jean Paul Sartre play re-imagined with indie music. Should be interesting, be sure to read my review online.
I feel like doing something silly afterward, like leaping on a train to Bristol and seeing my friends over there.
Ram.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
BACK WHERE WE STARTED:
When making jokes at the expense of others, we walk a fine line between playful joshing and upsetting mocking. I crossed that boundary on sunday without realising. I realised yesterday when from two different angles I understood that I had upset some close friends for entirely seperate reasons.
It wasn't that the joke was politically incorrect or offensive, it was just hurtful when seen in a certain context. I think perhaps because I profess to hold myself to a set of morals and ethics, when I break that integrity, even slightly the force is greater. In the same way that I have commented before about how, should I feel I need to push back to prevent people bullying me or something I do not have to push back hard, the impact is greater because I normally simply turn the other cheek without a thought. So it was that when I let that guard down, bipassed that mental checkpoint I found I had hurt those I care about by simply my words.
Of course, as soon as I learned of this I threw myself into a torrent of inner-directed rage, thrashing my brain with the lash of guilt and flaggelating myself with self-loathing. But this time I realised that no declaration of a return to 'right speech' or angst-filled vows of silence would do this time. I had made such attention-seeking outbursts before and not yet being skilled enough I had broken them.
Therefore I feel that the only thing I can say is that this was a reminder of why right speech is so important. I must be skillful with my words and not harmful, I must consider before I speak. Popularity through humour can be such a double-edged sword in the current comedy climate. Therefore, with this lesson learned I shall travel on with mindfulness and skill.
Ram.
P.S I am sorry for upsetting you both and any others I do not yet know of.
When making jokes at the expense of others, we walk a fine line between playful joshing and upsetting mocking. I crossed that boundary on sunday without realising. I realised yesterday when from two different angles I understood that I had upset some close friends for entirely seperate reasons.
It wasn't that the joke was politically incorrect or offensive, it was just hurtful when seen in a certain context. I think perhaps because I profess to hold myself to a set of morals and ethics, when I break that integrity, even slightly the force is greater. In the same way that I have commented before about how, should I feel I need to push back to prevent people bullying me or something I do not have to push back hard, the impact is greater because I normally simply turn the other cheek without a thought. So it was that when I let that guard down, bipassed that mental checkpoint I found I had hurt those I care about by simply my words.
Of course, as soon as I learned of this I threw myself into a torrent of inner-directed rage, thrashing my brain with the lash of guilt and flaggelating myself with self-loathing. But this time I realised that no declaration of a return to 'right speech' or angst-filled vows of silence would do this time. I had made such attention-seeking outbursts before and not yet being skilled enough I had broken them.
Therefore I feel that the only thing I can say is that this was a reminder of why right speech is so important. I must be skillful with my words and not harmful, I must consider before I speak. Popularity through humour can be such a double-edged sword in the current comedy climate. Therefore, with this lesson learned I shall travel on with mindfulness and skill.
Ram.
P.S I am sorry for upsetting you both and any others I do not yet know of.
Friday, March 06, 2009
GOTH:GEEK
The last time I organised a night out to a club that was of the same scale as tonight it was 2007. My small gothic army gathered at the Intrepid Fox before invading Sin. A good time was had by all, despite the confusion over buses at the end and strangers in my home.
However, it seemed like a lifetime ago and my peers all agreed that another night like that was needed, so I arranged another one for tonight. World's end followed by Electric Ballroom. I searched for other decent goth/metal/rock nights but there weren't any convenient/had the right style/etc. So we are left with the classic World's end/Electric ballroom combo. This is not a bad thing but it is not original. Perhaps next time I shall be more adventurous, but then I run the risk of less people coming. Only the truely epic ones like that night in 2007 and tonight will be remember with that wistful nostalgia of 'that night at...that was a good night'.
Organising something on this scale is a tad like a military operation, with locations, timings and communications being the most important part. Some people are working late, some people not, some going to see 'Watchmen' (lucky gits) and some aren't, some can only come for a drink, some can only come for clubbing and so on.
Then fate throws me a fork in the road. In the form of the opportunity to become a Theatre reviewer. On the same day, at the same time, on the opposite side of the city.
Now, the magazine have stated that they are unlikely to employ someone they have to chase so I throw caution to the wind and say 'yes! I will review for you this friday!' So I am, THEN heading over to Camden for drinking and dancing. I have appointed my good friend Magnus to act in my stead as the nexus of my New Gothic Army until I arrive. This kind of recklessness is exactly the SAME sort of spirit I had back in 2007 when I invited ALL spheres of my life into one house for a party.
It is also, this spirit that I can already feel buzzing through my comrades, stirring itself up through texts and phonecalls, climbing upon itself as makeup is applied, corsetry fastened, new rocks scaled and best T-shirts worn. The tensing of muscles ready to headbang, jump and ROCK OUT!
So when i sit there, waiting for the curtain to rise in the theatre I shall lean back and sip a drink thinking
"Gandalf my old friend, this will be a night to remember."
The last time I organised a night out to a club that was of the same scale as tonight it was 2007. My small gothic army gathered at the Intrepid Fox before invading Sin. A good time was had by all, despite the confusion over buses at the end and strangers in my home.
However, it seemed like a lifetime ago and my peers all agreed that another night like that was needed, so I arranged another one for tonight. World's end followed by Electric Ballroom. I searched for other decent goth/metal/rock nights but there weren't any convenient/had the right style/etc. So we are left with the classic World's end/Electric ballroom combo. This is not a bad thing but it is not original. Perhaps next time I shall be more adventurous, but then I run the risk of less people coming. Only the truely epic ones like that night in 2007 and tonight will be remember with that wistful nostalgia of 'that night at...that was a good night'.
Organising something on this scale is a tad like a military operation, with locations, timings and communications being the most important part. Some people are working late, some people not, some going to see 'Watchmen' (lucky gits) and some aren't, some can only come for a drink, some can only come for clubbing and so on.
Then fate throws me a fork in the road. In the form of the opportunity to become a Theatre reviewer. On the same day, at the same time, on the opposite side of the city.
Now, the magazine have stated that they are unlikely to employ someone they have to chase so I throw caution to the wind and say 'yes! I will review for you this friday!' So I am, THEN heading over to Camden for drinking and dancing. I have appointed my good friend Magnus to act in my stead as the nexus of my New Gothic Army until I arrive. This kind of recklessness is exactly the SAME sort of spirit I had back in 2007 when I invited ALL spheres of my life into one house for a party.
It is also, this spirit that I can already feel buzzing through my comrades, stirring itself up through texts and phonecalls, climbing upon itself as makeup is applied, corsetry fastened, new rocks scaled and best T-shirts worn. The tensing of muscles ready to headbang, jump and ROCK OUT!
So when i sit there, waiting for the curtain to rise in the theatre I shall lean back and sip a drink thinking
"Gandalf my old friend, this will be a night to remember."
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