Looking through the looking glass of past truths:

Following the initial crushing agony:

"I debated whether or not to email you again but given as not responding the norm for you rather than the sign of a raw nerve hit I decided to go ahead. I didn't want to send a 'be strong buddy' type message because they are f*cking pointless so here goes.

I wanted to let you know that things will get better, you will stop hurting, you won't get over it (ever - I still can't be nice to X) but in time you'll learn the tools you need to deal with this.

Don't expect to 'move on' any time soon. the idea that you can pull up your socks and get on with it is bullsh*t, as is the idea that you can be friends. Don't beat yourself up about it if you don't want to be friends (if you do your a better man than me) and don't make yourself feel worse when you realise you still feel like sh*t.

It is going to take a long time, months, possibly years, it is going to get easier but at times it is going to get harder, much harder. She will be with someone else, you are going to have to evolve what you need to cope with this.

In 6 months you remember something about her and it will hurt as bad as it does now. But not for as long.

Don't give in to your pain, alcohol, drugs and self harm will not make you feel better, they take far more than they give back.

Remember your are surrounded by people who love you and want to help you get through this."

This message helped me so much over the past year. This reminder, coupled with seeing 'The Killing of Mr Toad' at the Finborough theatre last night has reminded me how lucky I am to have so many good friends and family.

My heart is fit to burst with love :)