...AND JUST LIKE, THE MOVIES
Saw 'School of Rock' and 'Lost in translation' over the last two days. Both good films for different reasons. I'd recommend 'school of rock' as a feel good movie and for some serious hard rockage! Lost in translation is quite unique in being the only film I have seen which portrays a long goodbye as they happen in real life. They take ages sometimes. But also reminds me of those people you can really connect with but only meet once.
Can't really explain more about my current mental state right now, but I feel I've turned a corner in some respects. I truely feel part of the 'fellowship' I spoke of so many posts ago!
Take care,
Peat
PJCarrington's occassional adventures and quests for enlightenment, fellowship and function. Filmed before a live studio audience; all of you.
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Saturday, February 28, 2004
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
'When you accept yourself, the whole world accepts you"
Lao Tzu.
Words which resonate with me everytime I think of them. But (as is the way with many sayings of the wise) it is difficult to follow. But as the Buddha wrote:
"However many holy words you read,
However many you speak,
What good will they do you,
If you do not act upon them?"
The lesson I learned at the beginning of this week was that you cannot have one rule for yourself and one for everyone else. Even with the best intentions those morals and ethics may bring. This was struck home to me at last by a friend and I am still reeling from the shattering of my ego.
If you're anything like me (may GOD have mercy on us all if you are ;) ) then you're probably a bit(!) paranoid about what other people think. But as Lao Tzu says, you have to accept yourself, as you are in order to lead at least a partially contented life. This is what I tried, but as I destroyed the house of my ego, I was building another one, brick by brick. A house of self-deprication and good intentions. Helping others is great and a noble task, but you have to allow them to help you as well. This is what I didn't do. This made me feel distanced from people in a whole new way to the way I used to be distanced. Funny really.
Yeah.
Hysterical.
But the point is, to feel that the world accepts me is to stop trying to distance myself from it. In all of the ways I was. I had to accept myself. I was not alone, misunderstood and different from everyone else. But to help, they had to know that! They couldn't help because they didn't know. But more importantly, the next day I felt more connected to my mates around me than I had...ever!
Take care. To all the people who are now deeply worried about me. I'm okay! This is progress people! It was a shock (and still is a little) but I can feel it is for the best. This is yet another obstacle on the path to being the best me I can be! I promise you that. In fact, I'm giving up self-deprication for lent! As helpful as it seemed to be, keeping me humble and preparing for disaapointment. It is the flip side of an arrogant ego. Neither is good.
But I'm getting better now!
Peat.
Lao Tzu.
Words which resonate with me everytime I think of them. But (as is the way with many sayings of the wise) it is difficult to follow. But as the Buddha wrote:
"However many holy words you read,
However many you speak,
What good will they do you,
If you do not act upon them?"
The lesson I learned at the beginning of this week was that you cannot have one rule for yourself and one for everyone else. Even with the best intentions those morals and ethics may bring. This was struck home to me at last by a friend and I am still reeling from the shattering of my ego.
If you're anything like me (may GOD have mercy on us all if you are ;) ) then you're probably a bit(!) paranoid about what other people think. But as Lao Tzu says, you have to accept yourself, as you are in order to lead at least a partially contented life. This is what I tried, but as I destroyed the house of my ego, I was building another one, brick by brick. A house of self-deprication and good intentions. Helping others is great and a noble task, but you have to allow them to help you as well. This is what I didn't do. This made me feel distanced from people in a whole new way to the way I used to be distanced. Funny really.
Yeah.
Hysterical.
But the point is, to feel that the world accepts me is to stop trying to distance myself from it. In all of the ways I was. I had to accept myself. I was not alone, misunderstood and different from everyone else. But to help, they had to know that! They couldn't help because they didn't know. But more importantly, the next day I felt more connected to my mates around me than I had...ever!
Take care. To all the people who are now deeply worried about me. I'm okay! This is progress people! It was a shock (and still is a little) but I can feel it is for the best. This is yet another obstacle on the path to being the best me I can be! I promise you that. In fact, I'm giving up self-deprication for lent! As helpful as it seemed to be, keeping me humble and preparing for disaapointment. It is the flip side of an arrogant ego. Neither is good.
But I'm getting better now!
Peat.
Saturday, February 21, 2004
Sitting in my mates lounge typing with three people looking over my shoulder. What to say? Having a wonderful weekend! Seen my Mum, my Dad came back from Australia, saw my cousins and some of my best mates!
Life is bitter sweet. But appreciating the little things. The little victories makes it all worth while.
Take care,
Peat.
Life is bitter sweet. But appreciating the little things. The little victories makes it all worth while.
Take care,
Peat.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Monday, February 16, 2004
BLOGGING COHORT
My friend had the decency to plug my blog on his so I'm returning the favour. It's about time. I've had this blog for what? 5 days now? he he, only joking.
I get the impression he actually knows how to keep a blog, unlike me. I just tend to rant and rave. His is a proper blog. Funny and everything!
http://www.thegrasshopperliesheavy.blogspot.com
Enjoy
My friend had the decency to plug my blog on his so I'm returning the favour. It's about time. I've had this blog for what? 5 days now? he he, only joking.
I get the impression he actually knows how to keep a blog, unlike me. I just tend to rant and rave. His is a proper blog. Funny and everything!
http://www.thegrasshopperliesheavy.blogspot.com
Enjoy
FELLOWSHIP
I think it is important for me to state now that I seem to have taken a very 'preachy' tone in my posts, almost as if I have been trying to convert people or tell them what to do (as if I'm so much better). This is not my intent, the reason I take the tone I do is because I feel I am writing this for other people (Though whether anyone reads this is impossible to tell), the reason I cover the topics I do is because these are my thoughts and the conclusions I draw from them. I apologise if I have offended anyone. My only motive is to offer you insight into myself.
Perhaps the problem is, having arrived at the conclusions I have and walking the path I have chosen it brings me great joy and I want to share that with you all. I must remind myself that I came to this path not because anyone evangelised to me, but through my own self-discovery.
I have deleted the post I was going to write because it was more of the same. If this blog is really about me, then I should tell you about me. In my own words you should gain an insight into me. I began in the past, this is where I shall continue.
Having been a child story-teller, as I grew, adventure seemed further and further away. I looked at the characters in films, television and books with great awe and wished so hard in mmy heart that I could join them on their adventures. As a child I would dream about going on epic quests with my friends, facing danger and derring-do with them and coming through with a greater sense of fellowship.
It later occurred to me that it wasn't the danger, the epic quests, the thwarting of villains or the saving of damsels I really wanted. It was the sense of belonging, the sense of unbroken brotherhood with the people I cared about. But that is difficult to achieve. The result of a discussion with some close friends of mine was that fellowship comes through shared experiences, bonds are forged over time and not just with anyone. Such things cannot be forced.
I pondered how to achieve such cameraderie and I realised how rare it is. Think of how many people move through your life. Friends come and go, aquaintances fade in and out. But some stay with you a long time, for whatever reason. Those are the ones you have a bond with, even if you don't understand it. I recalled that there are a few people with whom I have not lost contact, these are the true members of the fellowship. If adventure were to call, these would be the few I would want by my side. I learnt therefore at a young age that friendship is something to treasure.
I thank you all for being my friends.
Take care,
Peat.
I think it is important for me to state now that I seem to have taken a very 'preachy' tone in my posts, almost as if I have been trying to convert people or tell them what to do (as if I'm so much better). This is not my intent, the reason I take the tone I do is because I feel I am writing this for other people (Though whether anyone reads this is impossible to tell), the reason I cover the topics I do is because these are my thoughts and the conclusions I draw from them. I apologise if I have offended anyone. My only motive is to offer you insight into myself.
Perhaps the problem is, having arrived at the conclusions I have and walking the path I have chosen it brings me great joy and I want to share that with you all. I must remind myself that I came to this path not because anyone evangelised to me, but through my own self-discovery.
I have deleted the post I was going to write because it was more of the same. If this blog is really about me, then I should tell you about me. In my own words you should gain an insight into me. I began in the past, this is where I shall continue.
Having been a child story-teller, as I grew, adventure seemed further and further away. I looked at the characters in films, television and books with great awe and wished so hard in mmy heart that I could join them on their adventures. As a child I would dream about going on epic quests with my friends, facing danger and derring-do with them and coming through with a greater sense of fellowship.
It later occurred to me that it wasn't the danger, the epic quests, the thwarting of villains or the saving of damsels I really wanted. It was the sense of belonging, the sense of unbroken brotherhood with the people I cared about. But that is difficult to achieve. The result of a discussion with some close friends of mine was that fellowship comes through shared experiences, bonds are forged over time and not just with anyone. Such things cannot be forced.
I pondered how to achieve such cameraderie and I realised how rare it is. Think of how many people move through your life. Friends come and go, aquaintances fade in and out. But some stay with you a long time, for whatever reason. Those are the ones you have a bond with, even if you don't understand it. I recalled that there are a few people with whom I have not lost contact, these are the true members of the fellowship. If adventure were to call, these would be the few I would want by my side. I learnt therefore at a young age that friendship is something to treasure.
I thank you all for being my friends.
Take care,
Peat.
Friday, February 13, 2004
DOING WHAT WE CAN
As if it's fated to be I saw 'Big Fish' today and I can honestly say no film better illustrates the point of my last post. I can heartily recommend it to anybody who shares my world view. long with several others I have seen over the years:
Citizen Kane: If only for the line, "I don't think one word can explain a man's life. It's just a piece of the puzzle. The missing piece." Film buffs will tell me I misquoted that but it shows how a person should be judged by their whole life.
Ed Wood: Brilliant film about a guy who just LOVED films! (Co-incidently also directed by Tim Burton, like Big Fish)
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
Talking to my brother I mentioned my blog and he raised the point that most blogs seem to hark on about wierd stuff written by self-obsessed people. I'm not claiming that this blog is any different, merely that within my incoherent ramblings I hope you see that what I say is based upon a deeper 'loving-kindness and that I care for others. Caring for others seems to be one of the few things that always makes sense in this world. Sure, you don't always get it right. Nobody's perfect or omnipotent. But a phrase springs to mind; "To do what you can".
"To do what you can"
Examine that further and you see it is existentialist in it's deeper meaning. We seem to spend so much of our lives doing what we feel we have to (excluding those people in the world forced by repressive regimes or oppressors of all kinds). Yet we are masters of our own destiny, who really forced your hand? No one, you are doing what you do of your own volition. We should use that responisbility to 'do what we can'. We are not omnipotent therefore the phrase does not ask us to be.
This has of course all been said before by people far wiser than I. A useful metaphor I read in Lama Surya Das's book is:
"Do you have your hands on the steering wheel of your life? Or are you clutching the rearview mirror wondering why you're spinning out of control?"
In other words, are you in control or are you looking back at the past while your life speeds out of control and quickly away?
If this blog is about me, then this is one of the metaphors which has helped me on my first steps to becoming 'the best Peat I can be' (TM). I have many phrases which I recall when needed to remind me of the path I have chosen and to stay on it. One day I will explain further, but out there is a big wide world, times-a-wasting and adventure awaits!
Take care,
Peat.
As if it's fated to be I saw 'Big Fish' today and I can honestly say no film better illustrates the point of my last post. I can heartily recommend it to anybody who shares my world view. long with several others I have seen over the years:
Citizen Kane: If only for the line, "I don't think one word can explain a man's life. It's just a piece of the puzzle. The missing piece." Film buffs will tell me I misquoted that but it shows how a person should be judged by their whole life.
Ed Wood: Brilliant film about a guy who just LOVED films! (Co-incidently also directed by Tim Burton, like Big Fish)
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
Talking to my brother I mentioned my blog and he raised the point that most blogs seem to hark on about wierd stuff written by self-obsessed people. I'm not claiming that this blog is any different, merely that within my incoherent ramblings I hope you see that what I say is based upon a deeper 'loving-kindness and that I care for others. Caring for others seems to be one of the few things that always makes sense in this world. Sure, you don't always get it right. Nobody's perfect or omnipotent. But a phrase springs to mind; "To do what you can".
"To do what you can"
Examine that further and you see it is existentialist in it's deeper meaning. We seem to spend so much of our lives doing what we feel we have to (excluding those people in the world forced by repressive regimes or oppressors of all kinds). Yet we are masters of our own destiny, who really forced your hand? No one, you are doing what you do of your own volition. We should use that responisbility to 'do what we can'. We are not omnipotent therefore the phrase does not ask us to be.
This has of course all been said before by people far wiser than I. A useful metaphor I read in Lama Surya Das's book is:
"Do you have your hands on the steering wheel of your life? Or are you clutching the rearview mirror wondering why you're spinning out of control?"
In other words, are you in control or are you looking back at the past while your life speeds out of control and quickly away?
If this blog is about me, then this is one of the metaphors which has helped me on my first steps to becoming 'the best Peat I can be' (TM). I have many phrases which I recall when needed to remind me of the path I have chosen and to stay on it. One day I will explain further, but out there is a big wide world, times-a-wasting and adventure awaits!
Take care,
Peat.
Thursday, February 12, 2004
Hello again!
I couldn't resist posting again more of my thoughts and ravings.
But where to begin? It occurs to me now that I have a public forum for my opinions I can use this for good, spreading a message of loving-kindness first to my friends in the hope that it wil spread further. Also this may become political from time to time.
For example, don't buy stuff from the following companies:
Esso-This is one that really gets me. With the world potnetially going down the toilet these people just don't care. They are potentially holding back this country's attempts to get greenhouse emmissions down by not doing ANYTHING towards stopping Climate change (Global warming as it's also known). It's not that they don't believe it's happening, they just DON'T CARE. They make more money from it.
Nestle-I'm sure by now you're aware of the evils of this company. I shan't go into them right now. It's a shame really since I like Yorkie bars.
Anyway, perhaps I should explain my life further. Born in the legendary 1984, life has basically been very good to me. I have no great reason to complain. But what makes me disappointed is that despite the wonderful praise people give me I feel I'm not that great. You wouldn't believe how many people think I'm a great guy! I feel I could do better and that is also what this blog is about.
For life is journey, and tales grow in the telling. This blog is about my life, a record of the days of our lives, a record of my journey to being the best Peat that I can be. I want to feel in myself that I am worthy of the praise I am given. That is a truely noble and heroic journey as I am sure you will agree.
So how did I arrive at such a task? For that we shall return to the backstory:
If, like me you were a child-storyteller. Enchanted by the notion of excitement and adventure (a jedi craves not these things) then growing up is difficult at times. For adventures seem to become more and more remote. There aren't really monsters under the bed, there isn't really a world of talking lions, dawn treaders and snow queens through the cupboard and no matter how hard you try and use the force, the remote control won't fly across the room into your hand.
What happened to the world? Has it always been like that and you become a 'grown up' when you finally give in that you're not going to have an adventure? I hope not, for all our sakes. Think of historical adventurers. The one that springs immediately to mind is Baron Munchausen. A grown man, a baron who had all sorts of improbable adventures (which of course nobody could call him a liar for as to do so would insult his noble standing). A film out at the moment is 'Big Fish' where fantastic adventures happened to Edward Bloom. Who is to say how this adventures really were. Ewan Macgregor (who plays the young Edward Bloom on his adventures) says that they ARE true, but just exagerrated to the point of blurring the line of fantasy and reality.
Is that then the answer? A matter of perspective? Should we all become like Don Quixote, imagining windmills are giants? That would be the extreme of course. But surely if we changed our perspective to one of adventure, even just a tad, surely everyday would be in some way exciting! In the same way I described playing 'make-believe' when you're a child, lets give it a more subtle try in our (supposedly) more grown up life. Something I said once which has stuck with me is "I'd rather have an eventfull day than a dull one". Surely 'eventfull' and 'dull' are matters of perspective. I've found that today has become far more interesting and it helped clear my mind as to how to act well to my friends. A lesson for us all perhaps if we feel our lives are dull and boring. They really aren't.
Take care,
Peat.
I couldn't resist posting again more of my thoughts and ravings.
But where to begin? It occurs to me now that I have a public forum for my opinions I can use this for good, spreading a message of loving-kindness first to my friends in the hope that it wil spread further. Also this may become political from time to time.
For example, don't buy stuff from the following companies:
Esso-This is one that really gets me. With the world potnetially going down the toilet these people just don't care. They are potentially holding back this country's attempts to get greenhouse emmissions down by not doing ANYTHING towards stopping Climate change (Global warming as it's also known). It's not that they don't believe it's happening, they just DON'T CARE. They make more money from it.
Nestle-I'm sure by now you're aware of the evils of this company. I shan't go into them right now. It's a shame really since I like Yorkie bars.
Anyway, perhaps I should explain my life further. Born in the legendary 1984, life has basically been very good to me. I have no great reason to complain. But what makes me disappointed is that despite the wonderful praise people give me I feel I'm not that great. You wouldn't believe how many people think I'm a great guy! I feel I could do better and that is also what this blog is about.
For life is journey, and tales grow in the telling. This blog is about my life, a record of the days of our lives, a record of my journey to being the best Peat that I can be. I want to feel in myself that I am worthy of the praise I am given. That is a truely noble and heroic journey as I am sure you will agree.
So how did I arrive at such a task? For that we shall return to the backstory:
If, like me you were a child-storyteller. Enchanted by the notion of excitement and adventure (a jedi craves not these things) then growing up is difficult at times. For adventures seem to become more and more remote. There aren't really monsters under the bed, there isn't really a world of talking lions, dawn treaders and snow queens through the cupboard and no matter how hard you try and use the force, the remote control won't fly across the room into your hand.
What happened to the world? Has it always been like that and you become a 'grown up' when you finally give in that you're not going to have an adventure? I hope not, for all our sakes. Think of historical adventurers. The one that springs immediately to mind is Baron Munchausen. A grown man, a baron who had all sorts of improbable adventures (which of course nobody could call him a liar for as to do so would insult his noble standing). A film out at the moment is 'Big Fish' where fantastic adventures happened to Edward Bloom. Who is to say how this adventures really were. Ewan Macgregor (who plays the young Edward Bloom on his adventures) says that they ARE true, but just exagerrated to the point of blurring the line of fantasy and reality.
Is that then the answer? A matter of perspective? Should we all become like Don Quixote, imagining windmills are giants? That would be the extreme of course. But surely if we changed our perspective to one of adventure, even just a tad, surely everyday would be in some way exciting! In the same way I described playing 'make-believe' when you're a child, lets give it a more subtle try in our (supposedly) more grown up life. Something I said once which has stuck with me is "I'd rather have an eventfull day than a dull one". Surely 'eventfull' and 'dull' are matters of perspective. I've found that today has become far more interesting and it helped clear my mind as to how to act well to my friends. A lesson for us all perhaps if we feel our lives are dull and boring. They really aren't.
Take care,
Peat.
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
IN THE BEGINNING...
Welcome one and all to my on and off blog. I have no idea how frequently I'll get to write here but at least maybe some of you will read it. It's a kind of public display of my thoughts, hopes and dreams for my mates all over the world. Who knows, maybe you'll get to know the real, real me. We're all pretty open people, so you probably know me pretty well already, but here will be my life preserved for posterities sake.
From now on, if anybody asks me what I've been up to I can just hand them a website address!
But where to begin? Where can I possibly start a history of a 'stuff of epics' hero adventurer in a modern day-to-day world? Let's start with the backstory. At least then, when that's all cleared up, you'll understand why the conclusions I make are the ones I make. Or something.
Exactly when I chose the life of an adventurer is something of some contention. Maybe it began when I was a child, playing in the playground or playing with action figures. My friend Robert and I would create vast worlds within our imaginations and play in them. Amazing really considering that all there was was a vast concrete desert with some painted football pitches on it. Sure, you could maybe climb over the fence and use the trees but the teachers would always yell at you and pull you back. Vast epics of space operas, fighting fantasy, daring rescues, toy management (I kid you not), edwardian power struggling families (I'm serious!), dystopian sci-fi and pet rescue (How many times, these were all real). The number of roles I played was vast, no plotline ever truely ended, we just got bored and moved on. Empires, kingdoms, the universe or profit were held in our grasp. In our own way. We were Kings.
On the playground and in the house the greatest stories are being told.
I shall tell you how this came to me. Last year, while I was staying round my friend Lauren's house I was blessed with this revelation. I sat meditating in her garage in my sleeping bag (I'd stayed the night in her converted garage with Jebbo) and when it came time to open my eyes the first thing they fell upon was a dolls house. I thought nothing of it at first, but as I looked more I saw it as a library of story, a wealth of knowledge of the life my friend had had before I had even met her. It's so easy to think of people as 2D, as if they've only existed since you've known them. But this dolls house was everything, think of what the walls had seen, the drama that had been played out within those walls. I wanted to know those stories, to know the person who told them. We all have these within us. Maybe we should share them. I'm not saying we should. But maybe we should.
I didn't realise this was going to become a rant. I apologise for that. Maybe this blog will become more than merely a diary but a collection of essays on life. Like that film 'waking life'. Or maybe it's just me ranting for ages. If you read all that; Well done, and thank you.
Peat.
Welcome one and all to my on and off blog. I have no idea how frequently I'll get to write here but at least maybe some of you will read it. It's a kind of public display of my thoughts, hopes and dreams for my mates all over the world. Who knows, maybe you'll get to know the real, real me. We're all pretty open people, so you probably know me pretty well already, but here will be my life preserved for posterities sake.
From now on, if anybody asks me what I've been up to I can just hand them a website address!
But where to begin? Where can I possibly start a history of a 'stuff of epics' hero adventurer in a modern day-to-day world? Let's start with the backstory. At least then, when that's all cleared up, you'll understand why the conclusions I make are the ones I make. Or something.
Exactly when I chose the life of an adventurer is something of some contention. Maybe it began when I was a child, playing in the playground or playing with action figures. My friend Robert and I would create vast worlds within our imaginations and play in them. Amazing really considering that all there was was a vast concrete desert with some painted football pitches on it. Sure, you could maybe climb over the fence and use the trees but the teachers would always yell at you and pull you back. Vast epics of space operas, fighting fantasy, daring rescues, toy management (I kid you not), edwardian power struggling families (I'm serious!), dystopian sci-fi and pet rescue (How many times, these were all real). The number of roles I played was vast, no plotline ever truely ended, we just got bored and moved on. Empires, kingdoms, the universe or profit were held in our grasp. In our own way. We were Kings.
On the playground and in the house the greatest stories are being told.
I shall tell you how this came to me. Last year, while I was staying round my friend Lauren's house I was blessed with this revelation. I sat meditating in her garage in my sleeping bag (I'd stayed the night in her converted garage with Jebbo) and when it came time to open my eyes the first thing they fell upon was a dolls house. I thought nothing of it at first, but as I looked more I saw it as a library of story, a wealth of knowledge of the life my friend had had before I had even met her. It's so easy to think of people as 2D, as if they've only existed since you've known them. But this dolls house was everything, think of what the walls had seen, the drama that had been played out within those walls. I wanted to know those stories, to know the person who told them. We all have these within us. Maybe we should share them. I'm not saying we should. But maybe we should.
I didn't realise this was going to become a rant. I apologise for that. Maybe this blog will become more than merely a diary but a collection of essays on life. Like that film 'waking life'. Or maybe it's just me ranting for ages. If you read all that; Well done, and thank you.
Peat.
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