THE PROMISED LAND

Hello again. I haven't posted for a while. With all the other stuff I have to do I don't really get the time. Plus more people read my Livejournal anyway so I don't really feel the need to write much here anymore. Unless of course it is to bear my soul.

Here's the deal. Aside from Chin's death there is really only a few things I keep REALLY close to my chest. The casual fancies (not the year long obsession, apologies to all involved) stay pretty close to the surface. Buddha likened our souls to lakes. Little stuff bothers the surface but only the really heavy stuff moved the bottom around.

Right down at the bottom of the lake is The Promised land. Which here I shall explain.

I explained this to a close friend whilst drunk once and was delighted that, despite their cynicism, they agreed with me. I read a poem in Lex's car (although he wouldn't tell me who it was by) which could have been written about the promised land.

My friend and I jokingly called it The Promised land, but it could have many names. One I would use would be 'Faere'. As described in 'Smith of Wooton Major' in 'Tales from the Perilous realm' by JRR Tolkien.

It is the place 'over the rainbow' where we can be free and happy. I can't describe it. That feeling that there must be something MORE, something BETTER out there for us. It's not a holiday or something but a place and a feeling. That feeling of longing for somewhere which isn't home but feels like home. I sometimes find myself saying ' I want to go home' when I don't really or I AM home!

That place in the Shawshank Redemption, far away, where Tim Robbin's wants to go.

It's not power or glory or anything like that. It's watching the sunset, strolling through forests, looking out over golden fields. That moment when you catch your breath whilst looking up at the clouds, mesmerised by the beauty. That moment where you think maybe, just maybe if you hold onto it you'll understand it all, you'll see God or know the meaning of it all.

That's what the Promised Land feels like.

I said once that maybe I would dedicate my life to finding it. Maybe I will, but I don't know where to start. I also said that if I couldn't find it, or it didn't exist I would FOUND it.

I would call it 'Escape' and it would be a farm and commune where we could live in harmony with nature. You're all welcome to come, if you feel that calling to somewhere else.

"It may be the gulfs will wash us down,
It may be that we will touch to happy isles
And meet Achillies, whom we knew.
It is true we are not now the strength which,
In ancient times moved heaven and earth,
But what we are, we are.

To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield."
Tennyson
(One day I'll put the full quote up. It's much better than the bits I can remember)

Peat.