Wolf ~ Wolves are also regarded as path finders
and teachers. Wolf is represented by the
constellation Sirius, the Dog.
In the Zuni tradition the Wolf symbolizes the
direction East.
Wolf's Wisdom Includes:

Facing the end of one's cycle with dignity and
courage

Death and rebirth

Spirit teaching

Guidance in dreams and meditations

Instinct linked with intelligence

Social and familial values

Outwitting enemies

Loyalty

Steadfastness

perseverance

Taking advantage of change

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Animal Spirit Guides ~ Which One Calls To You?
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I always knew it to be so. Okay, time for a big update.

I was planning to go on a big rant here but I don't have the...anger to do it. I feel calm and so not at all bothered by what I was going to rant about.

On another note, I feel bad for a mate of mine who's having a rough time recently. If only I didn't have my coursework to do I would have hung out with him today but alas I HAD to do the work today. I'm sorry dude, it's my own fault for leaving it until today.

LARP stuff that's getting me down right now:
1. The pressures of leading the Red Dragons is starting to get to me. The others say how they are having a rough time/going crazy/despairing and I kinda have to hold them altogether. Despite some tragic IC news. But it's just a game, we all know that I relish burdens and responsibility. Just so that I can crack later on and get attention from people.

I'm shallow like that. heh.

WARNING: SELFISHINESS IMMINENT IN NEXT PARAGRAPH. INCOMING RANT:
2. This is neither the time nor the place to mention this but after specifically telling a friend not to do something, they have gone and done it. I remember specifically telling them not to do it as well. For once I'm right about something. But, as I said, it's not the time to mention it. I'm just angry that, I'm waiting for this plot to get passed and then they stir it up so I have to put it all together again. What hurt was the way I was casually brushed aside as the ref running the plot 'he'll just make it part of his plot'. Justifying their freedom to mess around. After I specifically told them not to.

That was just a rant to get it off my chest. Now that I have the irritation has left me so it doesn't really matter. The plot moves on and I'll have fun sorting it out when it finally comes back to me. Or if it doesn't it's no longer my problem anyway! lol.

WARNING: HIGH LEVELS OF PRETENTION IN THE NEXT PART. READER DISCRETION ADVISED.
I feel like I'm failing people. As I may have mentioned before there seems to be a clash of things people tell me (and what I think).

1. I'm almost (if not already) a good person. A person with no major hangups, a person everyone can like, rely upon and can count on as a friend should they need me. I am also a banner bearer for the post-modern knights, hope has been placed in me for the future, by people I greatly respect and whom I don't want to let down. I have a dream of a promised land over the rainbow where we can live happily together. I want to live humbly with that dream in mind.

2. I'm failing. Failing in all the things above. I am a less good person, a person with MAJOR desire issues, a person more and more people DISLIKE, whom they can't rely upon because I'm always looking out for number one. I seem to be locked in some kind of 'selflessness' competition with Russ (who far outdoes me but my pride keeps me from doing things in an effort to seem as selfless as he). He trusts me and I cannot be there for him because I lack the basic decency a person needs to be his friend. I am guilty of all the things he finds repugnant (well, maybe not all, but most of them). I have failed to be a post modern knight because I lack the chivalry and honour which created this ideal in the first place. I should therefore give up and place my hopes as well upon Russ, who has the qualities I lack.

The only thing which I know is consistent is my dream. The promised land. But do I want to find it for the glory of friendship, or my own glory?

God, I hate myself.
God, I'm so sorry everyone.

(And so, the old school Peter returns. heh.)