BACK DOWN TO EARTH

Today's rant is about Gossipmongers and those who spread rumour and lies.

After another tender moment with Fiona my friend Steffi comes over to doomsay the whole thing. What does she know about it? Nothing!!! All she's going on is hearsay and conjecture, just because SHE hasn't seen the way Fiona looks at me, touches my hand, the kiss I got doesn't mean they didn't happen!
(Sigh)
I know she's trying to stop me from getting hurt but she's making a big deal out of something which will make me fail if a big deal is made of it. I shouldn't have got angry with Steffi but I worry that she's going to break my privacy and then everyone will know and that will just make me spin out. I know I talk about it here but this is were I bear my soul, whomever reads this sees it as it is.

What did I tell her? What did I ask her to do two weeks ago you ask?
'Just be cool'. That is all I asked. Three words, just be cool, because if you're not cool then I go crazy and spin out, RUINING EVERYTHING.

And I don't want to ruin everything. This is important to me because I really like Fiona.

I like Fiona because she is both strong and tender. She has had a rough time which has made her independent and strong. She has the courage to go where she wants (heck, she had the courage to show she likes me despite the fact I am clearly mental). She is tender in the fact that underneath her exterior she has a depth which I can see knows few bounds, empathy, caring, understanding. It's all in her big blue eyes and it...

#feels like lightning running through my veins when she looks at me that way...#
(Ahem) Sorry, but it does. Last year I was lost and crazy, she was also hurt and alone. We didn't get together and to be honest, I wouldn't want THAT me being with her. I moved on, now it's like falling for her all over again. I don't want to ruin this because she needs something reliable, dependable in her life and that's what I want to be.

I'm sorry Steffi, but you see know why it's important you stay cool. I am sorry, don't make this trust I place in you (and whoemver else reads this) be unfounded.

I think maybe Bailey is having a similar time. Well I'm here for you buddy. Don't overanalyse it, self-analyse by all means but remember, you can't self-analyse others. So just be cool, these things work out how they work out. Karma, cause and effect and so on. Just be yourself, ultimatley (I sound like Lex sometimes) that is all we can ever be.

Peat.